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Post by aholland on May 22, 2013 16:17:54 GMT -5
Monday my mom found out that my dad is filing for divorce. She did not call me to tell me till yesterday. It has been a rough few days. He literally cleaned out all the money from their accounts and didn't have the guts to even talk to her about it. He was also having an affair on her. With one of her best friends. I grew up with the woman's children since I was three. It had been going on a year. He is my step dad and it still hurt. I have had him as a step dad since I was 11. I am turning 33 next month. My Mother is one of the strongest people I know. You don't ever really see her cry. Ever. She cried on the phone to me. She says she felt something was wrong for the last 2 years but kept quiet. I am just hurt and betrayed. Guess I just needed to vent and get it out. Thank you to anyone that read this. Feels a little better to have gotten it out. It's a lot to have to deal with when you were trying to be excited for your anniversary. And that is another thing. Monday was their 22nd Anniversary. And she found out because the Lawyer came to her confused on something. He didn't mean for her to find out till Friday.  |
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Post by midnightphantom on May 22, 2013 16:40:34 GMT -5
That is just horrible... Especially how she found out x.x. I am sorry but wow.... He should have said something and never do it like that... Just wow. I am sorry for you and your mom x.x
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Post by Cameron on May 22, 2013 16:49:25 GMT -5
Holy moley.. *hugs tightly* I really can't imagine. I'm literally speechless, and dearly sorry.  |
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Post by aholland on May 22, 2013 17:23:12 GMT -5
And to show how strong she is, she cared more about how I and my Niece would take it. I have just been in a funk since I found out. My only real none internet friend lives to far away and I needed friends to talk to. It is why PI has become so important to me. I don't make friends easily in real life and you all are awesome.
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Post by springacres on May 22, 2013 17:29:16 GMT -5
Your stepdad is a two-faced, cheating piece of camel dung and NO ONE deserves to be treated the way he treated your mom over this divorce. *HUGS*
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Post by aholland on May 22, 2013 17:44:01 GMT -5
Thank you hun. Yeah, it just sucks.
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Post by Raenia on May 22, 2013 21:10:45 GMT -5
Oh I'm so sorry honey, that's a very hard thing to go through. My parents are in the middle of a divorce as well right now, though nothing as dramatic as this. It's weird enough to think of your family breaking apart, but to have it happen in such a terrible way - I can't imagine. *hugs* Best of luck getting through this, and to your mom especially.
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Post by tierasa on May 22, 2013 21:22:39 GMT -5
My parents have been divorced twice from each other, so if you need someone to talk to, just shoot me a PM. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this and that your mom had to find out in such a way.
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Post by wolfrysk on May 22, 2013 22:01:36 GMT -5
I'm always here to talk if you need it, Aholland. Or if you want to do something to get your mind off it. -snugs tight-
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Post by PookaWitch on May 25, 2013 12:36:24 GMT -5
Wow, that is just.... I'm at a loss for words... 'cold' is the only one I can think of but that doesn't even come close to describing it.
It's things like this that not only hurt, but can ruin your faith in fidelity and love, even being the child of those going through something like this.
I'm kind of in the same boat of some of the people here, I'm from a broken family too - my father, who was in his 50s at the time, after over 20 years of marriage ran off on my family with a barely legal, white trash of a woman.. one who had ruined at least one marriage before because she liked 'married men'. (Kinda that town bicycle, you know, everybody has had a ride. -_- ) I was 12 at the time, and it's a hard thing to get over when your father's skeezy, trampy mistress gleefully boasts all over town that the best part is that she didn't have to deal with his (enter profanity) children, who calls drunk in the middle of the night with death threats (including her other boyfriends calling with death threats to your family and older brother), ect.
Sometimes though, you know, if you discover that somebody is such a horrible person, that they would do this to somebody they claimed they loved, could be so cold and creul.... it's better to know the truth and have them our of your life. It's hard to see this early in the stage of things, dealing with the divorce of parents is much like going through the stages of mourning, but when you can finally get to the point of feeling better you can look back and realize that it's better to get somebody like that out of your life.
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Post by aholland on May 25, 2013 12:54:44 GMT -5
It makes me more and more thankful for my husband.
This is the second divorce I will go through with my mom. I was young and have vague memories. I remember my dad left her for her sister. I would travel between them because I wanted them to both think I loved them and couldn't choose. No child should ever have too. Then Mom married my stepdad when I was 11 or so and I thought she would be happy. Now her best friend steals her husband. I just feel so bad for my mother. She doesn't deserve all of this. It just sucks. I hurt more for her then myself. I think i am still in some shock in how he went about it.
What also sucks is I was supposed to go up there with the hubby for our Anniversary and borrow their camper for like 5 days and now it is all in limbo till we know what is all going on. And our vacation is in about six days. It just makes it all more annoying. And more depressing. I think the depression that set in is the hardest. That is why I love PI so much. I can distract myself with wonderful friends and adoptables to help me through. Thank you all for being there for me. It has helped. I don't have many RL freinds to turn too, but having you guys makes it easier.
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Post by PookaWitch on May 25, 2013 13:20:12 GMT -5
Oh my gods! Your poor mom, wow. She was left for her SISTER, and now her FRIEND. Oh my goodness, I so feel for her, that is so horrible. |
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Post by aholland on May 25, 2013 14:05:36 GMT -5
Yeah. It has been rough. She told me she gives up on love. Hurts to much. Hardest part for me was not being there to just hug her. All I wanted to do was hug her.
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Post by Nephthys on May 27, 2013 15:24:32 GMT -5
Oh, your poor mum! That is terrible! It must be horrible feeling like you can't help her through this. But let her know that since you are her daughter, you will ALWAYS love her and be there for her, and that is probably all she could expect from you in this difficult time. Let her know that the one thing she should never give up on is LOVE. You should always let your heart be open to love and that way, you will be able to recieve it more easily in the future.
I have been very fortunate in that nothing of this nature has ever happened to me, but I am sending you my good thoughts and hugs, Aholland. <3 *hugs*
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