The Pillow Fort

[Moophles]

Hey everyone, this lovely little corner is the Pillow fort! We often have wonderful cuddles and sphinxy piles in them, but in this case, the fort is here to provide comfort to those who need to get stuff off their chest or just share in some sads to help work through things that the awful and dreaded REAL LIFE throws at us. 

We all know we're always here for each other, but in this place we can get those things out rather than in a main even thread where we aren't supposed to be anything but having a good time!

So settle in, have some snacks, coffee, tea or hot cocoa (We even have hot toddy's~) and make yourself comfy. All are welcome in the Pillow Fort <3

[PookaWitch]

This is a great idea. ^_^ Typically we just aimed people towards generals, but I hadn't thought of how it may be more difficult to start a thread.
Kudos to you!

[Moophles]

Daw thanks! I know its easier to have a place thats meant for these things so no one feels strange or awkward sharing or seeking out some comfort. <3 I know I wanted this place so I'm really glad everyone likes the idea!

[shlee]

This is a wonderful idea! Not everything is happiness and rainbows all the time, and it's unnatural to pretend so, as well. This way people have a way to kind of vent without having to start their very own thread, and also have people to commiserate with or to help them out with advice or just support or a shoulder to cry on. I know I've been having a -really- rough go of it lately and my sphinxy friends have really been there to help me. plus, something like this helps us get to build a sense of actual community. So thanks for starting this thread, Mooph. <3 And I hope everything's okay with you lately!

[Moophles]

Aw, Shlee, I'm here if you need anything hon. And as for myself, all has been well enough on my end~ I'm thankful I'm not in another depression pit right now And I am just glad everyone seems to really enjoy this idea!

[scorpiomilo]

I really love this idea too, been having a few ups and downs lately so having a place to kind of vent if needed is great

[Mr. Pooka]

May 31, 2019 11:40:52 GMT -5 shlee said:

This is a wonderful idea! Not everything is happiness and rainbows all the time, and it's unnatural to pretend so, as well.

I'm also right on board with this thread and am super happy to have an appropriate place to talk about this kind of stuff. No one needs to pretend bad things don't happen, just know where and when to share that kind of stuff... like here!

[shlee]

Haven't had much time to participate as much as I wanted this Heb. Not only was I in the US for the first half of May which made me miss all the Beltane stuff, but my mom pulled some stuff on me that really hurt me and made the last week of my vacation pretty hellish.

On top of that, Kilian's dad had to go into the hospital the morning after we got home (nothing life-threatening, but he battles with an addiction that he couldn't even remotely keep under control while we were out of the country, which we were of course afraid of).

I basically had a nervous breakdown, was sleeping about 2 hours a night, having nightmares when I was sleeping, waking up at 1 am or 3 am and just crying on my partner's shoulder. I'm written out of work for the next 4 weeks (already had the last week and a half off) and have to see about joining a psychiatric day clinic to help get everything worked through and put me back at a normal state of mind.

In the mean time, we're enjoying letting the kitten finally explore outside (mostly supervised, though she doesn't go very far at the moment) now that she's spayed, cooking with Kilian, taking care of the house, and mostly just... taking time for myself. It's all but killed my muse or motivation to do things, though, so that's why I couldn't really muster up the strength/time/motivation to do any of the long-running contests. It just sucks because I was so excited about Heb this year, and I feel like I just.. missed everything, and most opportunities I've had to win things haven't always gone my way (obviously, everyone deserves a chance to win!) but it just... stinks.

Doing a bit better though, and definitely doing all the things I need to in order to get myself into a better place again. I've had some amazing support from some of you here in the Sphinx community and I really appreciate all of that.

[PookaWitch]

I'm so happy about a sharing thread idea. I've had a lot of things myself that I wanted to share but wasn't sure about making a full thread about it. Hubby often, to me, compares the main thread as a party saying how interrupting it during a happy game was akin to interrupting the 'happy birthday' song for somebody with sad/upsetting news and ruining the mood and party. There has been more then a few times that I was ready to run a game, had everything set up... then suddenly somebody comes on with something sad and the mood is wrecked (including my own) so I abandon the game/giveaway. It's chased people away in the past and has stopped games. 

So, this is more like a nice sharing circle, a place to talk about those upsetting things, and I really like it. So I may as well share since I've been having a rough time myself.

So, my father is dying and I have no clue how to feel about this. At least from the little I've heard from his side of the family about all of this, I still don't even know all of the details. My father's side of the family are kinda jerks and never tell me anything. When my grandmother died they didn't even tell me until a month later, which I heard through somebody else. They're sort of horrible people (well not all of them, but most.. it's a huge family of 13 children). For example: my uncles frequently having affairs on their wives, my one uncle went to jail for pulling a gun on his mistress's boyfriend, and another killed a car full of teenagers from drinking and driving. When that horrible drinking and driving uncle got away with it due to a contaminated blood sample that side of the family threw him a freakin' party! >.< They're some pretty bad people, he deserved to have gone to prison.

Anyhow, my dad ran off when I was 12 with a barely legal girl who he had been having an affair with. (He was around 47 years old, she was 20, but he had been having an affair with her since she was 18. Just one of the many affairs he had on my mother over the years.) This was on Thanksgiving BTW and my family stopped celebrating it after that.
He was abusive, mean, would beat me for things like my retainer falling out in the bed during the night, etc. And now he's dying.

From what I've heard he's been in the hospital a lot, and now is on dialysis machines every day and is mostly likely not going to live too much longer.

I've always said that after everything he's done, after everybody he's hurt (even his daughter that he had with his mistress hates him and won't talk to him), that I would celebrate when he died. Hubby said that he would buy me a pizza the day he's gone. But I feel odd about it now. I don't know whether to celebrate that an abusive, cruel man is gone or be sad and hurt that I never was able to get satisfaction over all of this. I'm upset because even though I told him off once that he didn't take it seriously and he never really cared. I had thought about writing a note with everything I wanted to get off my chest to him, to let him know just what a horrible person he is... but it feels pointless now.

So, I'm kinda been on a roller coaster of emotion for the last month or so since my past seems to be crashing down on me recently.

[Cryptic]

-sends all the hugs to Shlee- <3 You definitely have all of my support!

That's rough, Pooka, but I imagine I would feel the same in your shoes. Long story short I've said the same things about my horrible mother but when it comes to her laying on her death bed after everything, I wouldn't know how to feel, either. Perhaps you could still write your note, whether or not you give it to him? It sounds like it would help let things out, either way. Sorry to hear you've had to deal with such people and are going through that right now.

[Rayvin_Kittiy]

Pooka, that sounds kind of like how I would feel if my step dad was dying. He was a complete abusive ass to me and my mom and put us through hell while I was growing up. It sounds rough though *hugs*

[Phoenix Stardancer]

I can understand Pooka. I have the same conflicted feelings towards my father. We had an a very turbulent relationship, especially once I hit school. There is a lot of baggage between the two of us. The biggest point he convinced my sister I'm not his and that my mom cheated on him. It still hurts to know my sister at times uses that to be cruel or taunt me.

Before my parents divorced I lived in terror of when his mood would swing.

[PookaWitch]

The more I think about it, the more I believe that I'm going to order a pizza or something similar. I feel like a bad person for wanting to celebrate, but I think it'll be more of a 'pick me up' since it will be a rough day of re-living a lot of my past.
I'm not going to his funeral... even if I was invited, which I doubt I'll even know about until a few weeks after he's gone.

It is good to have solidarity with these things though. I feel badly for those who have been through similar things, but it is good to know that there are people who understand. I'm sorry if this opened up wounds for those who have a painful past as well.

[scorpiomilo]

' curls up in thread ' did not want to put this in main thread, cause it makes me feel sad, ergo it goes here.. it kind of hurts seeing that my writing contest entry literally got zero votes .. I know it wasn't awesome like the ones that won, but still.. ' feels unloved at the moment '

[scorpiomilo]

' snuggles into thread with tony sphinx '
things have been.. not great for me , mom is giving me allot of pressure in both the job and love life departments, though I do have a job, where I volunteer almost every day of the week. At which one of my bosses has been a complete, well, witch lately ( worse than that but trying to keep language in check ) in fact today she treated me like hell so I left, she has been treating me and my friend/mother figure who's another long time volunteer ( both of us have been volunteering longer than she's been working there ) like dirt lately, she keeps making the excuse of it being pregnancy hormones but its not just that, she has basically been getting the same sort of uppity attitude that her own boss has ( or as another older volunteer says ' drinking the kool aid ' )
plus my partner who I've been in a long distance relationship for over two years with, things are rocky at best, started getting rocky around valentines day , I don't even know if we're even really together anymore since they push aside that kind of talk all the time, I'm at the point where I kind of want to just have a major talk about it, but I'm afraid I already know where it'll end up