Writing Contest Voting! - Heb Bastet (2019)

[Mr. Pooka]

All of the entries for the Heb Bastet (2019) writing contest will be posted in this thread. Thank you everyone for entering! (-8


Please take some time and enjoy this years wonderful entries and vote for your favorite! (-8



PLEASE DO NOT POST IN THIS THREAD!!!!

[Mr. Pooka]

Entry #1


"A time warden, a time hacker, a time raptor, and a group of Sphinxes walk into a saloon. Wait. That sounds like the start of a bad joke. I'll try again. A time warden, a time hacker, an undead priestess, and a flapper walk into a ... Wait! Strike that."

Third time's the charm, right? The narrator clears their throat to start over. "There once was a time warden named Ranquillane who had too much time on her hands... No! No! NO! Now it sounds like a dirty limerick." The narrator shakes their head and strikes a dramatic pose to being again. "Breaker, Breaker 1-9. What is the sitch in time? To go forth or go back? How much time can you hack?"

"Wait! How can I be expected to read this! I'm a professional!" The narrator glances around. "You! Yeah, you at the keyboard! What is this drivel?! If you can't write something better I suggest you give up the profession all together! I -know- I'm breaking the fourth wall, but is that really what's important in a story about time travel? Can we please focus?!"

The author hands the narrator a new script and nudges them to start over. "Many moons ago in a galaxy far far away..." The narrator stops and glares back out at the screen. 'Really? This is what you're going with? A Star Wars parody? There's no time travel in Star Wars! I know we went to the moon when we were in the future, but that was still Earth! Try once more and if you fail again, I'm outta here!"

The author types a note for the narrator. "What do you mean you don't just want to summarize the Heb? For crying out loud! Just write something! Something with some panache! A narrator of my caliber is not easy to come by and I need something to work with!"

After several minutes, the author finally hands over a new script and nudges the narrator to begin. The narrator raises a questioning eyebrow but prepares themself anyway. "Some say time is the fourth dimension and cannot accurately be represented, but to some manipulating it is as easy as opening a door and stepping through. Ranquillane is one such person, a time warden charged with maintaining the space time continuum and preventing others from meddling with time." The narrator looks up and grins. "Finally we're getting somewhere. Where's the rest? What do you mean that's all you've written?!"

"That's it! I refuse to work under these conditions! I'm going to my trailer. Someone get me my agent! Or better yet get me Breaker Upsurge so I can go back in time to before this story began!" The narrator storms off muttering to himself about useless authors and time travel.

[Mr. Pooka]

Entry #2

Journal entry for day… ??

Actually I couldn’t tell you what today is with all of this Time Nonsense that has been going on as of late. This entry is for date sometime after the last one. Close enough.

Life has been more than a nuisance as of late. Apparently someone, somewhere, is doing something strange and messing with time magic or… something. To be honest I don’t really understand it but whatever it is, it is irritating and bad for my business. What’s worse though is somehow I got roped into it. As if I have nothing better to do with my time and effort than deal with such nonsense. Ridiculous. Nevertheless it seemed that I had no choice in the matter because if there was one thing I learned in my brief dabblings in magic… it is that you really should just leave time be.

No one ever does that though. Why would they when they can just be irritating? At least there are some that go behind them and fix things but… still.

Take the other day for example - well the past few days really - at least I think it has been a few days but as I said, who really knows right now? This is going to be hell when I am trying to figure out my books at the end of the month. Perhaps Nemur is having an easier time… I am getting off track. A few days ago - I am just going to say that for ease at this point - I was minding my own business simply doing a bit of shopping in the town when this woman (who is apparently one of the “time fixers” I mentioned) just appeared in front of me babbling on about how I was showing signs of “chronal distortion” and that I needed to accompany her to somewhere in the pass or I’d drop dead or some such nonsense. Well, it probably wasn’t nonsense because I do have some knowledge of such things; that is why I agreed to go with her and landed myself in a rather large group of… shall we say eccentric sphinxes. This was back at the time when the Crook and Flail were stolen by some bat netjer woman - apparently I was a part of the journey to go find it. How I ended up as part of it I don’t know, especially since I don’t have any particular love for the Pharaoh… I suppose I must have done it because I thought there would be something in it for me or perhaps to avoid the power vacuum and strife that would come with having to replace another Pharaoh in such a small amount of time.

Anyway.

Clues were found that brought us to an ancient tomb. The entrance was blocked by a spell which was done away with easy enough but it was also blocked by sand which had to be moved away. Can you imagine having to dig like that? Peasants work and insulting to even expect of me. Those who did dig did so in a wonderfully quick pace… the sun was so hot. We entered the tomb which turned out to be the tomb of Mesu, a mage and scholar of a long while past who had apparently found some sort of ritual that was capable of corrupting the Crook and Flail to bend it to the will of someone who they had not chosen. Some of the group also saved some petrified sphinxes (through means which honestly made no logical sense but… again, Time) and we were returned home by the strange dragon woman - she called herself Ranquillane.

I thought this would be the end of it but no… no it was not. I was very wrong!

A few days after this first incident I was simply lying in the park getting a bit of sun and enjoying a bit of time off when that damned Ranquillane showed up again and scared me half to death in the process. She told me my timeline still wasn’t right… so off we went back through a portal to the tomb where another puzzle was awaiting us. We figured out that the clues were pointing us to Sebauduat (that is the mysterious city where I’ve heard there are portals to other times and places) as well as evidence of a Netjer Pharaoh - at the time we thought this was faked somehow but we later learn that isn’t true.

We traveled to the Sebauduat and found a secret order which calls themselves the Shuet there. They are dedicated to protecting the Crook and Flail and the rightful owner of them (at least from what I gathered). The group journeyed to the archives to find answers to all of the questions we had… and we found out there was a Netjer Pharaoh after all, but when the crook and flail rejected him, he bent them to his will - or at least tried, the ritual was never completed and he was buried alive. This is what happens when one is not careful about how they acquire power. Foolish man.

Oh, this is probably a good time to mention that through all of these adventures our own Pharaoh Adjo seemed to be dying from something sapping his strength… so that was a bit of a problem too.

Obviously the female who stole the crook and flail was planning on performing the dark ritual to bend it to her will, so naturally we would have to go and stop that. How fun. We make the decision to go and do that, solve the puzzle to get through the portal to the Realm of the Dead and…

Ranquillane shows up and takes us back home.

I suppose I should be grateful as it gave me some time to brush up on actual magical healing arts. When she inevitably showed up again I was ready for the battle - for better or worse. As it turned out - worse. At least for me… and that is what matters. Yes, yes we ended up winning in the end and Toby the Mage was able to disrupt the ritual but… I had to do all of the work making sure these people didn’t die. I mean really. You’re going into battle and you bring one healer? Who does such a foolish thing? Apparently these people… and while I tend to distance myself from such people and let fate have its way with them, I imagine I probably would have died and if there is one thing more important than me being right it is me being alive to CONTINUE to be right. There were a few close calls at some points and I had to make some difficult decisions on priorities, but between the group of us we did manage to succeed and return the Crook and Flail to Adjo. This whole thing was carried out by a power hungry necromancer who apparently probably isn’t dead, just gone into some sort of recovery state somewhere else. Who knows. Hopefully she doesn’t pester me again during my lifetime.

You know what the saddest part is out of all this? We didn’t even get to stay for our own celebration feast. No food, no riches, no nothing. We were about to when Ranquillane collected us once more and deposited us back in time… well us and quite a few of the Shuet and some of the very undead we had been fighting. As for me? What did I get? I have some sort of perpetually freaked out spirit who keeps appearing around me at random parts of the day… he could be useful if he could just be trained. Perhaps I will have to see if I can arrange for that somehow.

Anyway, so concludes my tale of the crook and flail - hah look, I am a poet and I didn’t know it. The time distortions are still happening, but I haven’t seen hide nor hair of that lovely red lady so for now I think I am off the hook. I look forward to never adventuring again.


End.

[Mr. Pooka]

Entry #3


*Transmission Start*
Explorer's log. Gen code 918205. Stardate ... Well, I'm not sure anymore.
I think I'll have to start at the beginning.
It was a normal day in the palace and I had been assigned to check on the paddocks with the royal pets.
Sadly I kinda had a slight mishap with one of the cages and the moon bunnies got out.
It was fine I got....most... of them back. Apparently, some 'strange visitors', from the surface had been brought to the palace to speak with the queen, had helped capture a few.
I didn't believe it at first but apparently, they had been collected from the plant bellow from a place I heard called Ahket.
Naturally, my Explorer, nature got the better of me and I decided to go take a quick peek.
Looking into the main hall I could see the Queen and her assistant looking over a strange group. The looked a little like us but they were all so... different.
The Doctor looked very happy and I know that can't be good. I Remember the time she turned me purple and green after I managed to....*cough* well journal you remember what happened.
Her looking good is NEVER a good thing. The queen was saying something about keeping males and getting more from the planet.
I have no clue what a male is but saying it was a trip down to the surface was what I wanted.
Sadly something happened, I wasn't paying full attention and next thing I know I'm more or less being pulled along with the group of strange looking visitors.
Someone shouted to me in a very deep voice. "Who's side are you on?"
Not really knowing what to answer I just replied "yours."
I felt a paw hit me on the back in a friendly, yet slightly painful, way. "glad to hear welcome to the rebellion."
Then they were gone.
I was packed like a space fish into the rocket with all these strangers and shaken around like yesterdays moon pie.
Then there was more running, some shouting about a portal and then someone was shooting at us.
Well, the whole thing passed in a blur and before you know it and I watched as the queen was taken away.
Some guards approached myself but a voice from the crowd shouted that I was with them, the guards simply nodded and walked off.
Then after all the excitment, I was on my own. everyone seemed to walk off in different directions.
Suddenly this big creature that looked like one of us sister but not. This I found out is what they call a 'Male'.
It has now been three days, I think, moon days are so different from the ones here.
I'm staying at a place called an 'inn' and they are letting me stay in exchange for stories about my home.
I've been taking lessons from the innkeeper about how to use the money for things. I don't really understand this as everyone uses coins or money to do things.
Today they are closing the inn and I'm being taken to something called the 'trials' it's apparently a big event to praise a goddess for cats... I not sure I've translated that right.
On the way, I saw some ladies herding males towards another part of the temple. It was part of the process, or so the innkeeper told me, that females would put males up as an offering to gain favor.
Well, I still don't understand the role of a male.
BUT I have yet to find out what has happened to my Queen.
So I will record everything and then we can take over this place.
Wait why is this light blinking? What do you mean low battery you're meant to last for ~Blip~
*Transmission ended*

[Mr. Pooka]

Entry #4

Once there was a great big bee
who thought it was a chimpanzee!
It went through time
past dinos, space cats, and limes
Then landed on a sphinx's knee.

That sphinx was red as red could be
She had a hat that all could see
With one great look
that bee she took
To its new home right by the sea

That silly bee,
Who thought it was a chimpanzee,
Was as happy as can be
Right by the sea.
How could that be?

[Mr. Pooka]

Entry #5


Heb Bastet and the topsy turvy timey wimey


Every Sphinx down in Ahket liked Heb~Bastet a lot
But this year was quite unlike others plot
Because the time turned turtle which caused confusion and whatnot

To start the mascot flew in tossing babies left, then right.
Squawking all the while in flight
This for the Sphinxes stirred up quite the unnecessary fright

For Beltane had been lost somewhere in time
The dear Cattleya faded, this provided the first sign
Of the mess in existence furthest away from fine

A red warden of time toting key-like scepter and a fellow blue time hacker
Had the know how and neither could be seen as a slacker
All zoomed through a rift and were gone with a flicker flacker

The two had enlisted volunteers in untangling fluxy detail
One such tangle involved a new battle for the crook and flail
With vim and vigor with clever resources, our troop had no real room to fail

With this timey-wimey tangled mess straightened about
The Sphinx group called out joyously with a shout
Only to be completely dismayed in shared doubt

When another rift sent the travelers way back in geologic time
Here be a place when Sphinxes hid within the tree line
For the land was run by behemoth casting shadow over the time-traveling feline

In the vast scape he travelers found refuge with a familiar queenly face
Who guided the Sphinx group in this time in space
And followed them back through the rift to the future place

Yet another rift sent the Sphinxy time travelers hurling future forward
An oblong object with fins sailing down had them floored
From within came girls with rockets who then welcomed them aboard

Only when the devious plot became known
That the Queen was set on making the men all her’s to own
The time travelers quickly dashed through another time rift back home

Only to once again have the time call out for a fix
Sending the time travelers into a dark lane lined with bricks
Zozzled was the key to the hidden fun that be until it was broken up by politics

Into the home of a fortune teller woman they ran
Here the tale led to a great mystery spurred from a wretched plan
The group assisted in returning stolen goods before leaving the time of the gunly-man

Next came the portal to little ol’ town in the Wild of Wests
Into the rootin tootin saloon went the fearless guests
Shortly thereafter a hootin’ and hollerin’ erupted within causing all there to be a little quite stressed

After which on the street Main a duel was set and all urged to stay clear
The rattlin’ gunslinger and his killer foe; the two that instilled community fear
When the victor claimed his title with pride another rift plucked the troop from the wilder frontier

Yule in almost July caused our fearless time travelers to pause
For there didn’t seem to be a specific cause
Of the glittery white substance above head and below paws

The lot delighted in merriment of winter-esque festives and cookie eats
Meeting trainer of yeti and candy-cane taster while gorging on the many treats of sweets
Some welcomed the cold warmly while others yearned for the return of familiar heats

So if all you learn of morals through this tale of the brave,
Just don’t ever be a Dave, yes even you Dave!
For a senseless act could be that which is quite grave.

And cause the fabrics of time to flux and cause great doubt
Where a team of dedicated time-fixers must take a trecherous route
In and out of rifts to mend fabrics torn; before all could give a gleeful shout

[Mr. Pooka]

Entry #6


The Heb had started and all seemed normal,
all so exciting and nothing too formal.
Beltane had started, but then our host disappeared
and it was here that many started to fear.
What was going on with the festival host?
and who would we toast?
Then things took a strange turn
and it is here that we would soon learn
that something was strange with time
and as such it was a bit of a crime.
We soon found ourselves in a land of dinosaurs
and boy did they ever roar!
Cave sphinxes and dinos were no dream,
but we found our long lost Queen!
Nefer had been found and boy was she a sight,
we all cheered in sheer delight!
Soon through a portal we were whisked away
and back to our home for a new day,
but it was short lived for sure
for soon another portal we'd endure.
What would it be this time around?
What time were we soon bound?
It was our own, but years past
when we had to think fast,
for the crook and flail were at stake
and we had to deal with a dark fate.
The day was won and such restored for the time being
and soon our Beltane host we were seeing.
Such fun was restored once more,
the festival would be no bore.
Yet such fun would be disturbed again
when another portal appeared to our bane.
This time we were whisked into the far future
and seeing the city ruins was nearly torture,
but soon to the moon we went with gals from space
and their Queen we soon had to face.
Our males is what she wanted to soon have for her own,
but she was soon removed from her throne
when through another portal we came home
and a truce she put up to save her unknown.
The peace restored and festival abound,
no portals were seen around.
Oh, but wait there's another portal to go through
and our minds began to wonder what brewed.
This time to a time where strange dances were seen
and everyone seemed so dandy and keen.
Mobsters and a robbery, spirits speaking through a strange board
and then coming to life made us all floored.
Extra, extra, read all about it!
A thief snagged the head mobster and became a school yard hit!
A moment to rest would seem to be coming to paw,
but oh there was another portal and soon we saw
Home once more with things running smoothly
and thankfully for now cooly.
How good it felt and how lovely the snow looked in the streets,
wait a minute, another time anamoly treat?
Yes it seems it was now time for Yule and snow
oh this was certainly a new low
as the holiday Sphinxes weren't ready for the day
and yet there were some that came to play.
This strange anamoly was quite weird
and would time be normal some feared.
What was going to happen next
surely had many of us vexed.
Would it be Vikings or Knights
that would be to our delights?
Our wonderful Time Warden told us all was as it should be
so now we could enjoy the Heb normally.
A celebration held by all once more at hand
So come on now and strike up the band!!

[Mr. Pooka]

Entry #7

The Newsie

You meet me out upon the street,
I yell the latest heading to all I meet.

Extra! Extra! Read all about it!
Smiling Jack and gang escape coppers!

I stand on this corner everyday.
Will you choose to buy or walk away?

Extra! Extra! Read all about it!
Marshalls close down ‘nother house of sin and dumped its liquor!

Are you interested in what I have to sell?
Would you care to hear more ‘bout the headlines I yell?

Extra! Extra! Read all about it!
Sugar Dan caught and Jimmy the goat gives up his life of crime!

If you wish to know the details,
All you need to do is pay.

Extra! Extra! Read all about it!
Brazen robbery at Royal Museum of History!

Just one nickel is all I ask,
And then this News is yours to read all day.

[Mr. Pooka]

Entry #8


It had started out as just another usual day, morning snuggles with his beloved, a heavy and intense workout, then breakfast. Now Dez was wandering the streets, checking out the festivities for this year's heb. A warm smile on his face he waved to the other sphinxes he saw, both those he knew and those he did not. Everything seemed peaceful until suddenly he heard a loud Skree! Glancing in the direction of the noise he saw a curious looking small animal running at top speed down the street. Several horns and a crest adorned its head, its whole body appeared more lizard than anything else, though it didn't look like a djet, which was odd. He became even more confused when he heard clattering hooves, mixed with gunfire, and the rattle of a rattlesnake type djet tail. As suddenly an out of control chariot pulled by two heavily lathered horses veered into view , driven, if barely, by a djet in very odd clothes who was shooting off a gun from one hand. " I'll get you for eatin up my garden you danged varmint! " the djet screamed drunkenly, perhaps at the odd creature, Dez didn't know for sure. All he knew was that if he didn't step in, someone was going to get hurt. So the large netjer male stepped into the road, directly in the path of the chariot. There were gasps and shrieks from the nearby sphinxes as it seemed a collision was imminent. The chariot crashed into the huge netjer with a loud Smash! flinging the djet into the dirt. The horses stood there wide eyed and blowing hard as the djet pulled himself to his feet. " Why you rotten.. " he snarled, before he looked up at Dez " I uhm well.. " he stammered afterwards at the sight of the massive male. Dez frowned slightly " you need to cool off " he remarked, before tossing the djet into the nearest barrel of water. The battle hulk then turned and knelt down near the trembling baby triceratops " its okay little one.. I won't hurt you.. " he soothed. The little dino seemed to ponder this for a moment, before trotting up to him with a softer skree noise, and letting him pick it up. " Not sure what you are little one but you sure are cute, maybe Illiam'Ithra will know.. " and that, was the day that Dez learned about time travel, and made a new friend all in one day.

[Mr. Pooka]

Entry #9


Oh the Many Woes of me

By Anonymous Sphinx

Oh the woes that be
These things that happen to me
My day was as it should have Been
Then I was thrown out of When

Pushed from my bed was I
To socialize
A Portal there appeared before me
Through it I see a tree

Trough it I step carefully
Woe number one to see
Dino teeth to gnaw and Bite
There I hide in fright

After much running
And even more screaming
Home I come safe and sound
But a new friend was found

Now mind you this friend I did not desire
But against me someone did conspire
And now my tail he does chew
More so than any shoe

Then again was I forced through Portals still
from past to future did we spill
Then woe number three there was
And this one gave me Pause

For kidnapped was I then
And thrown into a pen
Studied as if a oddity
Then treated as a commodity

Then more running again
boy these ladies are insane
Safe and sound again at home
No more do I wish to roam

Now the city is filled
with Dinos, Space Women, Cowfolk, Mobsters, dancers and the thrilled
And all I can say I can't cope
So Nope Nope Nope Nope