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Post by melodysangel on Jun 9, 2015 22:42:03 GMT -5
Okie--- I naturally stopped when it 'felt' like a good ending point--but both of the short story entries were a bit short of 1000 words. Ill keep that in mind though it sounds like it 'can' be a bit short of if it just feels right  On the other hand..that massive story I sent AE reguarding one of my OCs o.0 I feel bad she had to sit down and read through 6 pages worth >> I just couldn't find a point to stop without it making sence..and I had to severely shorten the ending. Im going ot be working on rank 2 stuff for shani within the coming days while waiting for the OC (outsider) prompts. I think if the outsider prompts aren't ready (you've been thinking bout them, right? xD) ill create a post with some prompt-less RP/short stories that are coming to me. Probably in a different board, but I could always link back to this one whent he time comes. |
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Post by Siopilos on Jun 16, 2015 15:44:13 GMT -5
I'm really feeling around for some viking prompts - I have so many ideas for Sigrun! She's the loudest of them right now now xD
Mr. Pooka, would you consider the Rogues as thieves?
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Post by springacres on May 15, 2016 23:47:13 GMT -5
Are ram horns considered a demonic trait for purposes of demonic heritage? Neb-anu has finally admitted she's a half-demon, but the only visible sign of otherworldly blood are her ram's horns.
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Post by Hedge on May 16, 2016 9:21:34 GMT -5
I just have to say ...
I don't RP or play video games, so I will apologize up front if I've broken any for the many rules I've broken. But this was so much fun! Painful but fun!
I found it easier than actual RPing because it required well, only me to participate. I would fail miserably if I had to RP with someone else.
Good luck to those who make the choice to have others join in with their stories.
But all in all, if anything, I think my short story added personality to my Sphinx characters.
I did fall short of 2000 words, but I just could not squeeze in one more. I went over and over and over and ... well I'm sure everyone else has done the same.
I read every word and edited every paragraph so many times. Edit ... Save Changes ... Edit ... Save Changes. I may need a new keyboard after this exercise.
I thought my head would explode. And I had to increase the font size to remove the eye strain.
So Kudos to the Pooka's for coming up with this brilliant idea! It really did motivated me, kicked my butt, so to speak, to expand on my characters. Sphinx's who have been in a deep sleep for so long.
But now ... they're alive!
Again ... Kudos!
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Post by Mr. Pooka on May 16, 2016 12:20:34 GMT -5
Oh totally yes! The only real reason for some sort of limit would be considering prize stuff I think, but really I think using lots of your own characters (and others who you frequently rp with and have permission to use) makes for fun and great storytelling, (-8 *pictures buddy cop style adventure for a city guard prompt...*
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Post by Mr. Pooka on May 16, 2016 12:43:18 GMT -5
Oh yes they definitely could be! with the broadest strokes possible we want to make everyone able to build/play/rp their characters however they'd like and use whatever fits with what's available! Ram horns are a fairly common historical trait associated with Sphinxes but there is no reason your character didn't inherit them from demonic influences. There might be some various setting canon. For example there are some goblyn characters coming to Lamoria soon and I've used the demon tail trait as a standard with them so many people from that setting might thing that someone else with the tail type could have goblyn blood... but in Ahket most people would assume some sort of infernal heritage due to the number of demons and devils who where running around a few years back. Now all cannon aside you're super welcome to interpret your traits however you'd like for your own characters and settings, (-8 ...and play with the canon as well if you'd like! (have a devilish heritage Sphinx with a devil tail hide out in Lamoria because she doesn't mind being compared to goblyns but fears demon hunters)
oh, (a year late) I do have the basics of some Viking prompts on my list... I love Viking stuff, (-8 I'll prob work on that after the Heb so I don't pull my easily swayed brain away from gothic horror! And I think most rogues would easily count as thieves, at least out of character. I might not say that to some of their faces, (-8
*is super happy!* That's all awesome Hedge and I'm glad your having fun! I love this kind of stuff to myself for many of the same reasons. I've tried online RPing (and will again!) but I never seem to be able to maintain things or run things the way players are used to or find a good pace... but I do love writing and telling my characters stories! The prompt system sort of reminds me of playing/reading the Choose your Own Adventure books that I loved.
also I think I've mentioned a bunch of time but it doesn't hurt to say again... don't worry to much about the word counts if you are having fun, enjoying yourself and really feeling your characters! Its really hard to create writing standards (and art standards for that matter!) and the only reason for any rules at all is for prizes.... but that being said I'd enjoy a system like this without prizes and many have expressed the same (though of course some people really want their prizes and that is totally cool too!) and anyone can take it and use it however they'd like, (-8
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Post by steamworksprocket on May 24, 2016 10:24:08 GMT -5
I hope it's okay to post in this thread - I didn't want to make a new thread and mess up the forum. But I did want to post a little about each of the awesome stories I've been reading <3 You guys are doing so amazingly and I'm loving reading these! I skipped a few that only had character profiles up, but I'm keeping an eye on them for when those ones get updated!
AoM: Nylora Tells a Story
I really liked how you gave your piece an "Interview with a Vampire" feel! I think you are really starting to pull out some awesome elements of Nylora's character. I actually liked her in the later paragraphs the most as she started getting a little redolent with her interviewer. It really felt like you let yourself push and bring out Nylora's physicality - people often forget that a lot of a conversation or interview is about the subtle actions of the speaker. But you also didn't over use it, which shows a great eye for balance <3
I would actually like to read more from this piece - have you thought about expanding on the paragraphs a little? Maybe a little juxtaposition between Nylora's answers and her thought process? Or a little about the surroundings and why that particular place was picked. But I really enjoyed this and I think you did an epic job with the rank! ^^
kuraitsukinoikari: Chihana and Vune's Island!: Tears Unshed!
I think the moment I was drawn into your piece was when Rosemary tempted Chihana with the cup of blood. That would have made a great opening "hook" to drag the reader into the story. Then you could unfold that Chiana had gotten this mysterious letter. But that is mostly something to think about for future stories - finding that neat little punchy line to open with <3
In saying that, I really enjoyed this! You had some really, really nice pieces of description, such as "knocking on the door of the only building that looked frequented enough to be lived in". That is such a simple but powerful piece of description! It tells the reader everything they need to know about the setting, about how the area would feel and look. A great example of how simple and clear is best <3 I also liked the cheeky little lines, like Amane liking creatures with antlers, hee hee! I think this was a really fun story, and if you ever wanted to expand on it, I think you could really push the dialogue spots - especially with Vune - so you can see the back-and-forth between Chihana and Vune, and how they were reacting to each other.
aholland: Aneksi - To be a Vampire
This is a super interesting beginning and I definitely hope you plan to continue it <3 Aneksi sounds like a neat character and I like how you hint at the idea that Aneksi repeats to her victims what was said to her. If you do go forward with this piece, my biggest advice would be to remember the rule of threes when it comes to a character. Basically, if you use a character name, you should only use he/she/they/etc. 3 times after that before using their name again. This helps you differentiate between characters. I forget this, too, sometimes, because it's easy to forget once you get into that flow so it's totally not a huge deal. Just something to keep in mind ^^ Otherwise, I look forward to any updates if you decide to go ahead with it!
aholland: Estoria and finding Doctor Vune
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I love that you included the awesome illustrations <3 It's really awesome that you pushed yourself to do more with the prompts and mixing the writing and illustration was a great idea ^^ My favourites are the final two, for ranks 1.4 and 1.5. You did a great job with the different textures and feelings in each piece, especially the epic 1.4 piece for Estoria's spell!
The story reads really nicely and the flow is good - the edits you made to the original posts really pushed the story to the next level which is brilliant! It is so great to see someone who is able to edit themselves so well <3 Again, I would just watch your use of character names vs. he/she/they/etc. But otherwise I am really enjoying reading about Estoria and her search for Vune and I hope you continue it soon! You can't leave us on a cliffhanger!
minkey55: Namono - Teen
This was a super sweet, and really interesting start to the prompts! I know it's been a while but I do hope you come back to the project. I'm intrigued by who her mysterious "helper" is, who keeps leaving out extra food and like. And I really loved the interactions between Namono and the new Animal Tamer. There's a lot of promise with this piece and character; I would really enjoy reading more if you come back to this <3 The flow is really nice, too, and it reads quite well!
rayvinkittiy: Dresden - Son of Kerberos, the Incubus...
Dresden sounds like such an interesting character with a very intriguing background! This beginning really draws you in and makes you want to find out more about the character. I like that, like AoM, you went with an interview theme and I hope you really push that feeling and dynamic if you continue with this piece/decide to expand on it. I definitely think you've given enough hints to some pretty major events (the school incident and the return of Dresden's father, as examples) that you could expand on and really get into Dresden's thoughts and feelings at the time. How he physically reacted at the time. The emotions of those around him, too. Even the fate of the poor student. I really liked this and I certainly look forward to seeing more if you decide to keep going <3
ayaka: Why Ichi became a Physician
Oh goodness, poor Ichi XD It sounds like he needs a holiday, not to become a physician! I can totally sympathise with his...less than honourable reasons for wanting to become a physician, lol! Again, this is another piece and another character I would love so much to see continued. It was an awesome snippet with a heap of things in it to be unpacked and expanded on. I so want to know more about this interesting trio and how becoming a physician helped - or maybe heeded - his attempts for peace and quiet XD
So, yes, more please! Mooooore!
Nephthys: Shyam - The Dancer
Such lovely clean, clear writing! And you have a really nice flow to your work, too <3 Don't doubt yourself about your writing, this is was so nicely done! I really love that this began as a good, old fashioned dance off XD The best way for adventures to begin, I think! You described the dance scenes really nicely without overdoing anything - which would definitely be an easy pit to fall in when it comes to describing dance. Both flowed really well and did a lot to express Shyam's character. I also like that Shyam is quite sly - his exchange with the young female Sphinxes was nicely executed XD You've also set up a really good dynamic between your characters so far - the animosity between Shyam and Amenhotep is nice and subtle and I look forward to seeing how it develops - or is resolved. I also like that Shyam's fantasies aren't evolving the way he hoped - it makes him have to fight for his place and that's fantastic.
Please do go on, when you feel inspired to do so! You left this at an awesome cliffhanger and I need to know where it goes next - what are the plans for the charioteer's daughter? Dun dun daaaaaaaaaa!
Nephthys: The Seeker of Vengeance Seeks Doctor Vune (Faylen & Arcadia)
Yay for more illustrations XD I'm so excited to see people pushing to do both for their entries - and I adore the fact you even mocked up a book cover XD That's so cool!
This is a really promising piece. You've set up a lot already to draw the reader in - Faylen's thirst for revenge and the strange dynamic between Rosemary and Vune. Again, like your other piece, your work flows really nicely, your word choice is smart, neat and tight, and you immerse the reader well. I am really excited to see where you go with this story - and I am sure it will be fantastic because you've already got the building blocks in place. You can do this <3
Ariya Eretsee: Ieb'Ka'She - Medium
Moar adorable illustrations, wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee XD Dude, these are so cute XD But for such cute illustrations, this is such a sad story, and such a heart-wrenching spot to leave us at! I'm not sure if you plan to continue, but I would definitely enjoy finding out more about these characters. With such a tragic beginning, and with Ieb being so niave at the beginning, you've got a lot of exciting places to take this story. I do hope you continue <3
Dementia: Setab Solves the Murder
What an exciting start! I'm intrigued by Setab's mysterious dream and the assassin she saw in it. I can't wait to see how she came to have the vision and why, and how that plays out for her. And to be suspected of the murder itself! I really can't wait to see how Setab gets herself out of this jam - and if she's as innocent as she is making out/thinks she is! You've given us a lot of mystery to muse over and I will be lurking about to see if there's more to come! Your dialogue work was particularly good, with a really nice flow between the characters and their physical reactions to the situation, not just straight dialogue. Very nicely done!
Best of luck with the rest, I will be lurking <3
Dementia: Melinoe's Adventures with Rosemary and Doctor Vune
Another really awesome start to the tale! Rosemary definitely seems to be very vindictive and terrifying in your version of this prompt, which is great fun XD And Melinoe already feels like she's going to be quite the character! I think, especially in your opening paragraphs, you need to pull back from the purple prose a bit. You strayed in there a bit with the description of Rosemary. But as the piece went, you definitely tightened things up a little which is good!
Again, this was a great start and really drew me in! I can't wait to see more!
silentmoon: A Short Tale of Khimisset; Murder Means Money.
>=O You can't give us an awesome title like this and not keep going *shakes fist* The people demand more! Moooore! And to leave us hanging? That is pure evil. For a small snippet, you've really packed in a huge amount of personality and groundwork for the rest of this piece. It read beautifully and I found myself smiling several times at Khimisset's personality. I have a soft spot for the snarky ones *looks at Chee*.
This is really, really good and I so need more of this. Like, yesterday. *cracks whip*
hedge: Nephthys - Murder in Crux!
This was a really neat piece! I'm not sure if this is the start or if you are going to expand on it, but I would really love to see more of Nephthys and Veles. I think it would be really cool to expand a bit more into their meeting and the two characters getting to know each other, as well as why Nephthys was in such danger in Crux! I was really drawn into the character and her desire to become a better magician - along with her struggles against the tedium of her studies. You've got some amazing groundwork done here for two very cool characters and I definitely need to see more of them <3 I also really liked how you included the clues as little illustrations. That was a great touch!
kaats711: Wrong Place, Wrong Time: Milo the Murder Investigator
I love that you hooked me in the first paragraph with Milo's quirkiness (and, hey, he could have worse role models! XD) You really set the scene nicely and just let the story roll out very nicely and naturally. I really love the comedy of this piece and how unfortunate Milo is, nicely balanced with the drama. I was chuckling along as I read but also feeling sorry for Milo and the friends he was losing, which is great to garner that kind of emotion <3 And I am definitely interested in who this Irene character is. My biggest suggestion would be to break your dialogue into new paragraphs each time a new character speaks. It helps the reader keep track of who is speaking at any one time.
But saying that, I so definitely want more of the poor, unfortunate Milo and these intriguing murders! I'm so glad you're still working on it and I'll be lurking for mooooore!
MA: Shani-Demon (villianous)
An interesting start. Shani seems like she will be an interesting character as you go along with these prompts. The strange creature controlling her sounds interesting, too, as is her relationship with this character of Aluria.
MA: Aeion in Finding Dr. Vune
Another interesting start. Aeion is certainly a strange one and seems to be caught up in all sorts of odd trouble, especially for a character with the many, many powers he seems to have. It is also nice to see another mix of art and writing mediums and done in the interesting way of alternating entirely illustrated prompts with written ones.
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